A New Beginning

It's a new beginning! It has to be. I have been in "epic failure" mode for nearly 2 years now. My world was rocked. With that, I stopped blogging. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel I seem to have been in. My life is emerging once again. I think I am ready to blog again. With the turmoil of the past few years, my walk with God has been shaken quite a bit. Maybe that is the mere reason for my world having rocked so hard. I am confident that had I truly had the faith that I seem to flaunt... I could have walked those 2 years with much more grace. But, as God so often does to me, my eyes were opened to who I am in Him. My faith is much weaker then I once thought. My head knows the answers but my heart doesn't match up like I would hope it to do. That makes me question whether my faith in God is real or not. At the end of these 2 years, I would have to say that ... yes... my faith is REAL. Am I close to God? No, but I don't doubt my salvation or if God is real. I just know that I need to "work out my salvation with fear and trembling". So with that said, I am ready to be honest once again. One of the things that I have always been, when I blogged, was honest. Maybe to a fault, and maybe to honest... but I didn't hesitate to openly expose my flaws. My hesitation comes when my honestly hurts someone else. That brings my blogging to a standstill. I think I have a balance in my life now. I think I can go forward and begin to share the journey of my family. It is a new family now. Things have changed, life changes, situations change, and I have found myself with a new type of family. I began blogging when I had 1 teenager a preteen and 2 kids. Life exploded in front of my eyes. The changes were drastic. They were ever changing and came at me hard. Just when I thought I figured life out, another HUGE change would occur. The dynamics of home life would change drastically and I would be knocked off my feet again. Today, my home life consists of my husband, a college grad who is home getting her head focused on where she wants to go, a teenager who is about to become an adult and head off to college, and two 9 year olds. It is quite a change. Soon, it will just be my husband and 2 nine year olds. Life has never been like that at home. I am not quite sure what to do with it. I have a daughter very happily married to a wonderful man. And we have a son who is successfully completed his sophomore year in college; interning as an engineer with a good company. Life has changed drastically since I began blogging over 8 years ago. So... it is a NEW beginning in many ways.