Not much has happened. We are expecting a huge storm to hit tonight. I have to say that I am not very excited about it. Probably another day off, but worse... my family will be on the road. I hate that. I hate it when Mark has to drive in to work; usually before the snow plows hit the roads. Sam is in the same situation now. Erin is as well. It makes me a little nervous. Emily celebrated, over the weekend, a full year since Caleb proposed to her. What a wonderful memory. It is hard to believe that in June, they will be celebrating their first anniversary together. What a blessing . This morning, my heart is in prayer for the Cheng family. The twins are not due until April, yet they may need to be delivered very soon. This will be the third baby (ies) born premature in the past month. Little Ellie was born 2 months premature, Little Emily (named after our baby girl!) was born 2 months premature a few weeks ago, and now the little boys look to be entering the world soon. It is such a difficult road for the families to travel. If anyone does read this, please pray for these precious babies. Sam is doing well. He has crossed over from great sadness to great excitement. As he finally let go of the dream he held onto, he realized that he was only holding on because of a commitment that he had made, not necessarily because of feelings. He is ready to go forward and has his eyes focused in one particular direction. Pray as that unfolds. My little boy (who is no longer little; he's a full grown man), is a hopeless romantic.

It was a full weekend this past weekend. Erin made a HUGE purchase.... her first of this kind. She bought a car. Unfortunately, it is a car that she can not really drive right now. Daddy found a great deal for a car that we both felt would be good for her; only it is a manual and Erin has NEVER driven a manual before in her life. I am pretty tore up about it right now. I know that she will figure it out, but she is having a hard time feeling confident behind the wheel. She feels 15 again. Instead of enjoying her car, she is miserable and that breaks my heart. What should be exciting is more terrifying. So, if anyone reads this at all, please pray that she gets comfortable behind the when and that this car is a great purchase for her. We got to see Snowball again. She will be coming home next Sunday. The kids are excited (and obviously I am too). It's weird, but I am very excited to have a lap dog. I love animals that curl up in your lap. She is adorable. There is a girl and a boy. Ri REALLY, REALLY wants the boy. We all wanted the boy in the beginning, but they were thinking of keeping him. Now they are giving him to Mamaw. Elizabeth really wants the girl. Mark and I have talked and feel there is no way that we can ask for the boy. So, once again, it appears that Elizabeth is being favored. I hate that. I would want the boy simply for Ri this time.... but I can't do it and I can't really explain that well.

Reminded of God's Presence

Sometimes it shocks me that I don't recognize answers to prayer or God's provision. It makes me sad. It use to be that I would immediately recognize something. That tells me something about my walk with God. First, I asked for prayer about my son yesterday. I know that NOONE is reading this yet except for my husband. But... God heard the prayer. He called me last night on the way home from work and was as happy as can be. It was they happiest I have heard him since summer. Wow - what a quick answer to the prayer of my heart. Second, we were driving into town last night because my car had died and we jumped it. I wanted to make sure it was a good charge...plus I wanted to get some work done on the mural and at school. So, Erin, Jacob and I went in. I left Elizabeth and Ri because it was so cold. If we were in an accident or stranded, I didn't want them out in this. On the way into town, a deer appeared in the middle of the road. It didn't move, looked at me and froze. I hit the breaks in hopes to miss it, instead of the deer continuing to run across the road, it turned and ran right into our car! I hit it traveling about 50 miles per hour. It caused me to go into the other lane, but did not cause me to lose control even for a second. That was a true gift. Last time I hit a deer on this road, I struggled keeping control and swerved in and out of the other lane. Last night, just after we hit the deer and I was in the correct lane, a semi passed us. Instead of me recognizing God's hand in that accident, Erin did. Normally I would have been praising God. Not only am I praising Him (now) for his hand of protection, I am praising him that I was driving my car instead of my parents car! We are borrowing their car because Erin needs one until she buys her own. She has been looking hard for one but the weather has slowed the search and Mark and I haven't put the effort into it like we have for the other 2. Hopefully, she is going on Thursday to buy one. Lastly, when I was putting the kids to sleep last night, I planned on reading them a book. The book is "how to train a puppy you can live with". I got it so that we can FINALLY try to train a puppy immediately. Elizabeth and Ri are very good with animals and taking care of them, so I thought this would be a good idea for them. I took the book in the room and set it down to check on Ri (who isn't feeling well). I got up to begin reading and couldn't find the silly book ANYWHERE! I searched the whole room at least 3 times and searched the rest of the house. I couldn't believe it! But instead of praying, I kept searching. Finally, I found it. It was in the room under a sheet. I had been so frustrated that I lost the silly thing when I had JUST had it in my hands. I knew I had. What I didn't know is that during my maddening search, Elizabeth got concerned and prayed. The moment I found the book, she smiled and said "I just prayed you would find it!". I was floored. I hadn't even thought of praying and then I couldn't believe that Elizabeth did! So, in one day I was humbled 3 times by my realization that I am living my life outside of God. On another note, school is cancelled AGAIN. Four days last week were a 2 hour delay and now 3 days this week. I am ready to get back to school! Yesterday, we did do a few things (thanks to the constant reminder from Erin that I need to play). Erin taught the kids the game PIT. They loved it!! They wanted to play it over and over. I imagine we will play it a few times today. :) She also taught them TABOO and then a new version of CHARADES. We had a lot of fun. Jacob has been a pure joy to me lately. He is really maturing and growing up. I love this part of Senior Year. Senior Year was a growing year for the other 3 kids as well. He is still waiting to hear from several schools as to where he will be accepted. It is hard for me to believe that some haven't yet contacted him. He has been accepted into Case Western. It is an amazing school. He received a scholarship of $30000 a year, but the school itself is over $50000. So that will not be somewhere he will be going. His heart was set on the University of Chicago, but he was deferred during early decision. He is convinced that he will not be accepted come spring time. Wheaton is his top choice right now. We may be in for the same type of thing. It isn't a cheap school. But I hope he is accepted and is given a great scholarship. I would love to see him go there. So that is my prayer for now. He has been accepted into Liberty. I wanted him to go there because it is a good christian school and he should receive nearly if not a complete full ride. He applied for me, but honestly has no desire to go there. OSU is next on his list. He applied early decision there, but there was a mix up in whether he needed to pay or not (the collegeboard app said no). Because of that, they are not considering him for early decision. That makes me mad, but it is what it is. After that, he has applied to Kenyon, Dennison, and two other places... but I can not remember where they were... oh.. one is in Texas. I think he applied there because he is assured a full ride if he is a National Merit Scholar. Right now he is a Semi Finalist. A few days ago, he received a letter that he has been selected as a finalist for the US Presidential Scholars Program. Out of nearly 3.2 million high school seniors, there are only approximately 3000 students to receive the invitation to apply. He doesn't want to apply for this, but I think he should. It would be an amazing honor if he were selected as one of the Scholars. Of the 3000, only 141 will receive it. Erin has gone through a rough journey. Much has had to do with Jacob (not our Jacob). After over 5 years of struggling to keep a relationship going long distance, and after several attempts to break it off and try it again... they have officially ended everything. Once again, mama bear has arose. The situation is one I can't describe, out of respect for Jacob. Throughout their off and on relationship, I have struggled. But this time, the off and final. Before, I never thought it was final. I knew that they still loved each other deeply. It hasn't been til now that I am convinced it is done and Erin is not pretending to be tough anymore. He has hurt her for the final time. She has been amazing through it all. I am proud of who she has become. Someone out there is going to be so blessed to find this beautiful woman. And one day, someone else is going to regret their decision. As for her future life. Now that the strings have been cut from this relationship, she has liberty to explore life freely. She has made her decision for life. She officially accepted the position as Assistant Coach at Houghton. In the meantime, she is planning on pursuing a teachers degree to become a science teacher in high school and hopefully a coach as well.

Brokeness

Today brings with it another day of bitter cold. School was cancelled again. It is cold, -17 for Daddy as he walked into work. Sam got home safely last night from camp; but not without a battle with me. Sometimes it is very difficult. My kids have a way of kicking me hard. Sometimes it is by words, sometimes by actions, and sometimes when they are hurting so badly that I can't reach them. I think that is when it is hardest on me. There are many things that I don't understand in life. I don't understand why my son has been treated the way he has this past summer. He is an amazing young man. I don't say that because he is my son. I am brutally honest about my kids. Sam is truly a catch; one of those rare finds in life. Unfortunately, the young ladies that he has given his heart to are not yet mature enough to realize what they have. And in this particular case, a father and mother who boldly profess that they have given their ALL to Christ, have treated my son in the most unchristian like manner that I have ever witnessed. It has taken every bit of energy I have to refrain myself from calling them and talking with them. As a result of their behavior, my son has gone through a spiral of emotions,doubts, and pain. I want to grab them and tear into them. I want them to realize what they have done "in the name of Christ". Oh how I want to let them know. Mama bear has awoke and it she is very, very angry. But the rational side of me reminds me that they are human and that that one day they will stand before the Lord and will be held accountable for their actions toward him. He is not perfect, I am very aware. But what they have done to him is unjustified. And little do they know the result of their stupidity. If they only realized... or even taken the time to see, they would see that what they lost was more far more then my respect... they lost a diamond. They lost a precious gift. And not only did they lose it for themselves, they CHOSE... no... they FORCED.... to let their daughter lose it. In the meantime, I am sinning in my anger; sinning in my hatred and my thoughts. I have become nothing more then what I am accusing them of. For that, I am deeply sorry. I want to change. I want to forgive and love despite what happens to my child. I want to be like Christ; not like this. So pray for me; pray for my son. There isn't much to do when it is so cold. We spend a lot of time in front of the TV or in front of an ipad or electronic of some kind. It is sad. We need to do something more then allow our minds to be mush. Today, I think I will try to find something creative for us to do. I will let you know if I am successful.

A Puppy

Elizabeth and Ri turned 9 this month. We promised them a trip to the Great Wolf Lodge to celebrate. That has been the promise for over a year. On Christmas day, their Uncle's dog and girlfriend's dog had puppies. We gave the kids the option of a puppy or a trip to Great Wolf. They both quickly said puppy. Honestly, I am not sure what is the best choice. As much as I really, really want this puppy, I am confident that someday we will be regretting the choice. Great Wolf Lodge may have been very expensive up front, but not as much as a puppy over it's life time nor the headache that comes with having a pet. Don't get me wrong, there can be amazing rewards with an animal. The problem is, we do not have a good track record with dogs. The kids always lose interest and then Mark and I are stuck. With Shu, Mark is the only one who ever gives her attention. For me, I love Shu, she is a really great dog, but not trained and she is huge and stinks most of the time. If she was trained and clean, I might give her more attention. It is sad, I know. I hate it. But Ri has never had a pet of his own and Elizabeth has truly done an amazing job with Mia (her cat). So we decided to let them have the puppy.

Here is a picture of the kids on new years day:

Winter Weather

Winter has been upon us bitterly this year. Since the new year began, we have had more 2 hour delays then I care to think about. We have had 3 days off due to bitter, bitter cold; not snow. Right now, it is freezing outside and the snow that we got yesterday is drifting into the roads. School is closed. I expect tomorrow will be the same. We are expecting wind chills below -30. I feel horrible for Mark because he has to walk to work from his car. That breaks my heart. It is nearly a mile. I can't imagine that I would EVER be tough enough to do that. He amazes me. Sam is stranded at camp right now. He went to volunteer over the weekend. They are in a level 2 emergency. He had to call of co-op because of it. I don't see it getting any better for him. That bothers me. I hate him having to call off and I hate him having to drive in this. Seriously, if someone had car trouble, they would be in serious danger because of the cold temps. Erin is a nanny right now to a school teacher in another district. Four out the five days last week, we had 2 hour delays due to the bitter cold. She didn't have one delay. Today, we are off, she had to go in at normal time. I hate the kids driving on the roads so early in the morning! I am thankful that Jake did not have to go to school! Emily says it is just as bitter cold in Chicago as it is here. She had to head off to work as well. I haven't taken pictures for a very long time. I got out of the swing of it. Actually, I just have no desire to take pictures any more. Maybe because I am so busy. But my goal is to blog and record our life once again. Yesterday, we had lots and lots of snow. Here are a few pictures from it.

Check out the amount of snow we got! It was crazy. Erin has been amazing with the kids. She and Emily are a real blessing. They constantly want to play with them. Erin is very much into treasure hunting. So she got Elizabeth all dressed up and they went treasuring hunting under their fort (the trampoline).

A New Beginning

It's a new beginning! It has to be. I have been in "epic failure" mode for nearly 2 years now. My world was rocked. With that, I stopped blogging. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel I seem to have been in. My life is emerging once again. I think I am ready to blog again. With the turmoil of the past few years, my walk with God has been shaken quite a bit. Maybe that is the mere reason for my world having rocked so hard. I am confident that had I truly had the faith that I seem to flaunt... I could have walked those 2 years with much more grace. But, as God so often does to me, my eyes were opened to who I am in Him. My faith is much weaker then I once thought. My head knows the answers but my heart doesn't match up like I would hope it to do. That makes me question whether my faith in God is real or not. At the end of these 2 years, I would have to say that ... yes... my faith is REAL. Am I close to God? No, but I don't doubt my salvation or if God is real. I just know that I need to "work out my salvation with fear and trembling". So with that said, I am ready to be honest once again. One of the things that I have always been, when I blogged, was honest. Maybe to a fault, and maybe to honest... but I didn't hesitate to openly expose my flaws. My hesitation comes when my honestly hurts someone else. That brings my blogging to a standstill. I think I have a balance in my life now. I think I can go forward and begin to share the journey of my family. It is a new family now. Things have changed, life changes, situations change, and I have found myself with a new type of family. I began blogging when I had 1 teenager a preteen and 2 kids. Life exploded in front of my eyes. The changes were drastic. They were ever changing and came at me hard. Just when I thought I figured life out, another HUGE change would occur. The dynamics of home life would change drastically and I would be knocked off my feet again. Today, my home life consists of my husband, a college grad who is home getting her head focused on where she wants to go, a teenager who is about to become an adult and head off to college, and two 9 year olds. It is quite a change. Soon, it will just be my husband and 2 nine year olds. Life has never been like that at home. I am not quite sure what to do with it. I have a daughter very happily married to a wonderful man. And we have a son who is successfully completed his sophomore year in college; interning as an engineer with a good company. Life has changed drastically since I began blogging over 8 years ago. So... it is a NEW beginning in many ways.